Daily Recovery Blog
Sunday September 8, 2024
"My drug of choice is more. I always wanted more." - Donald B.
ONE IS TOO MANY. A THOUSAND IS NEVER ENOUGH.It is not the caboose that kills you when you get run over by a
train. Once I feel the effects of the first drug, one thing is
certain; I want more. When using, I can't remember ever saying
I'd had enough. There was never enough. I always wanted more. I
guess you can call it insane, but once I started using, all bets
were off. I was taught that the disease of addiction was
three-fold; obsession, compulsion, and total self-centeredness.
It made a lot of sense to me, when I first heard an addict share
that his drug of choice was "more". I thought I was in control of
my using for years. I was just supporting my habit. When the pain
deep inside turned on me, I felt like I was at war with myself. I
could not stop using. My fears became greater, and I
self-destructed. I was relieved to find out that I was an addict
with the disease of addiction. I was not a bad person trying to
get good. I was sick person trying to get well. It was shared
with me that I am not responsible for the disease. I am
responsible for my recovery, however. One is too many, and a
thousand will never be enough.
"Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an
endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching
satisfaction." - Erich Fromm
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