Daily Recovery Blog
Saturday January 23, 2021
"If I wouldn't have used with you don't expect me to hang around
you clean" - Patrick Y.
HIP, SLICK, AND FATALLY COOLI came into recovery with false pride. I was hurting and needed
help, but acted better than you. It is amazing I was even allowed
to come back. I used the best drugs. I had an image that I had to
uphold. I had war stories to tell. I was still hanging on to the
old lifestyle. I wanted to be cool. Men do not cry. I did not
want to be hugged by other males. I made sure you knew to leave
me alone. I was not going to ask for help. I would not join in
the circle at the end of the meeting. I immediately headed for
the door. I heard addicts were egomaniacs with inferiority
complex. Something magical happened. I was told they needed me to
help set up the meeting next week. I fell for it. It felt good
for somebody to say I was needed. Soon after being made setup
man, I saw a tough biker guy crying about his dog that died. I
tried to hold back, but tears ran down my cheeks from feeling his
loss. The woman next to me handed me a tissue. I was busted. Hip,
slick and fatally cool had finally moved away. From me.
"The worst drugs are as bad as anybody's told you. It’s just a
dumb trip, which I can't condemn people if they get into it,
because one gets into it for ones own personal, social, emotional
reasons. It’s something to be avoided if one can help it." - John
Lennon
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