Daily Recovery Blog
Thursday October 3, 2024
"In my disease, I was running from the dark. Now that I am in
recovery, I find that I am walking toward the light." - Tony S.
A NEW WAY OF LIFEMy old way of life was that of a junkie. I had long hair. I
listened to the Rolling Stones. I hated authority. I would tell
you my life motto was "Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll". All of my
boyhood dreams had vanished by my teenage years. I know today not
to place any emphasis on my drug of choice or anyone else's. I
was a low bottom user, if there even is such a thing. I sold
drugs to support my habit. This was my way of life. I did have
other jobs. Most only lasted a few months. My way of life was to
stay loaded. There was not much frosting on my cake. Everybody
that I associated with used drugs. My new way of life did not
start by choice. I stopped using drugs only because I was locked
up. My short stay in jail gave me a glimpse of what living behind
bars felt like. I did not want to live caged up like an animal.
At first, I was full of war stories. I glamorized my life. Acting
like a big shot made me feel better. When I was first allowed to
attend a meeting, I went out of curiosity. I went because the
counselors at the treatment center encouraged it. I was hurting
and angry at myself. My recovery was what the treatment center
offered. I will call that therapy. The meetings offered me
spiritual growth.
Did I choose this new way of life or did it
choose me? I do not know for sure. I do know it was like a shot
of hope to me. It came to me at the time; I had the desire for
something different. Meetings made feel better, and I was
inspired by others. I felt safe at the meetings. It was a warm
feeling, knowing I was not alone. I was being shown a new way of
life.
"Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it's dark." - Zen
Proverb
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