workshop on the nature of addiction held at a non-profit rehab center. Still getting on my feet financially, I didn't have a car at the time. Every Thursday, I rode the bus to the center for the workshop, and would then take a taxi to the 12 step meeting I attended that night nearby. One night, I asked a classmate I barely knew for a ride to the meeting -- my pride wouldn't let me say so, but I was so broke, it was a choice between taxi or dinner that night -- and he obliged, but made it clear I should have a backup plan in the future. His children had been removed from his care by the state, and he was at the class solely as a requirement to clear his name. On the way over, we talked about the meeting I was going to. He was curious, but not yet committed to the idea that his problems were a result of his own attitudes and actions. I encouraged him to sit in and see for himself what it was all about. Reluctantly, he agreed to; he really just wanted to go home. The chairperson of the group that night made an impression on him, especially when the meeting was finished. After well over 20 years clean, as a way of giving back, the man quietly combed the grounds outside for cigarette butts and threw them away. Here was a man who didn't need to prove anything, humbling himself to a service task no one else wanted, and no one had even asked him to do. My friend soon changed his attitude and began attending meetings regularly and eagerly. His kids were returned to him, and he joined the Thursday group as his homegroup. There, he met the woman he would later marry. His new wife already had a daughter close to his own daughter's age, and the two stepsisters now babysit younger kids outside while the meeting is being held. Today, he holds an elected service position in the group (previously held by his wife) and chairs the meeting occasionally. To put it plainly, his life changed in positive ways he could never have foreseen, simply by extending the kindness of a car ride. When we consistently do a good job at work, we may get a raise, or a promotion, or develop a solid resume for future employment. When we eat well, get plenty of rest, and exercise, we may look better, live longer or become ill less often. When we entertain ourselves watching movies or TV, reading novels, playing games, going to amusement parks, or going fishing or camping, we may enjoy life more. All these self-serving acts have tried and true results. We don't know what will happen when we help others without promise of anything in return, especially if we don't seek credit for our kind acts. We may doubt that what comes around goes around. We may be impatient, or greedy with our time and good cheer, doling out smiles and assistance as bargaining chips, only to those who please us directly or can give us what we want, now. "What's in it for me?" is a plague of epic proportions. But, our Higher Power has miracles in store for us, if only we make a little selfless effort. My friend still volunteers to give people rides when they need one, without hesitation, and never talks about it or asks anything in return. He frequently thanks me for asking him for a ride that evening, three years ago. And, the grounds outside the meeting space are still free of cigarette butts. |
