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Daily Recovery Blog

Wednesday Apr 21, 2021
"I came, I came to, I came to believe." - Jose G.

KEEP AN OPEN MIND
Meetings helped me to feel better. I could not explain it. I did
not understand it. A group of drug addicts not using drugs and
sharing about spiritual principles… That was beyond what my brain
could comprehend. I used drugs to feel better. I did not
understand any disease concept of addiction. I related to being
obsessed with using drugs. This is where my closed mind opened up
a little. I knew about urges to use drugs. I had gotten enough
self-honesty from step one to admit that once I started using, I
was not capable of stopping. My wall of denial was being torn
down. I heard in a meeting, that a new idea could not be grafted
onto a closed mind. My sponsor taught me that I had an obsession
with drugs that forced me to use against my will. I had lost the
ability to make any choices about my addiction. The consequences
I faced did not help me stop. Since coming to meetings and
following suggestions, I have not used. I was being open-minded
and learning a new way to live.

"Minds are like parachutes, they only function when open." -
Thomas Dewar



Tuesday Apr 20, 2021
"Nobody ever found recovery as a result of an intellectual
awakening" - Sam H.


WE COME TO SUSPECT
Not having any ideas about 12 step recovery prior to coming to my
first meeting, I had nothing to suspect. I was in a treatment
center. I was off of drugs for a few weeks. My mind was full of
war stories just waiting for an audience. I had the false pride
that most junkies carried with them. I was somewhat comfortable
in the therapeutic community. To me, not using meant burying the
spike. Complete abstinence was not in my vocabulary. I was always
going to need something to take the edge off. It was just the way
that I was wired. The first thing that attracted me to this
meeting was that they used the word narcotics. I thought to
myself, these people can't be all bad. Once the meeting started,
my suspicious nature quickly took over. The readings resonated
with me. I lived to use. I had no idea this was a worldwide
fellowship. I sat with my arms folded, uncertain how to respond
or feel. For some reason I wanted to identify with them. I had no
direction in my life, and I clearly needed help. My suspicions
were not true. What caught my attention was that it is a
spiritual fellowship, not religious. It was just one addict
helping another addict. When the meeting was over, I felt better.
I kept coming back, because as an addict, I wanted to feel
better. Meetings took the edge off for me. It is just the way
that I am wired.

"Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers." -
Robert Ingersol


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